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Malaika Charity


A non-profit that operates in the Democratic Republic of Congo, with the mission of empowering girls and their communities through education.



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By Cheranne Hack 20 Jul, 2017
I've been going to my therapist for over a year now - maybe 2. At first we did a course of about 6 or 8 sessions. It was during session 2 when I had the light-bulb moment that I could learn to be in control of my thoughts, to a greater extent than I had ever been, rather than letting my thoughts be in control of me. I won't bore you with the details of the years of problems I had, all stemming from anxiety and a precarious mindset. Anyway now I see Lorna for a top-up session about twice a year and she also provides support over email when needed. I have to say, I've never been in such a good place mentally, and I'm not sure I would have reached that place without her help.

Today I went to Lorna The Mindset Coach for hypnotherapy for the first time - normally our consultations have involved psychotherapy but for one particular issue we decided that hypno would be best. It was a great session; I reclined on the comfortable couch while she talked me into a deeper and deeper state of relaxation and then put strong positive suggestions into my subconscious mind to replace the negative, fearful ones. She's helped several of my friends too. So I can recommend Lorna's method of therapy from a personal perspective and also from seeing the progress those friends have made / are making.

Lorna specialises in managing anxiety, panic, depression, low self-confidence and phobias.

As Eckhart Tolle says in The Power of Now, 'To recognise one's own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence.' He believes we are all part of a collective insanity. We can't change anyone else's behaviour but we can start to improve things by taking responsibility and changing our own.

http://www.yourmindsetcoach.co.uk/
By Cheranne Hack 18 Jul, 2017

“Stop showing off Frances!”.   The words hit me like a brick.   I jolt to a stop, hang my head in shame and back towards the door.   Once outside, huge tears roll down my reddened cheeks, whilst I try to work out which feeling is the strongest – humiliation, shame, or anger.   Humiliation takes first place with shame coming in a close second. There is no room for anger so that is shut out – rejected.   Sibling rivalry encourages me to believe that certain siblings, who were privy to the exchange, are smirking at my abasing. Probably fantasy on my part but it feels real enough at the time.

Leaving home for boarding school at 7 was almost a relief. Maybe this was to be a place for me to shine? A place where I could 'show off' without being reduced to a mere morsel of myself by the lashing of a tongue, from a mother who would mow us all down with her words, time after time.

Boarding school was different. I was no longer a show off. I advanced from show off to simply not being good enough. As the youngest boarder, my confident, wanting to shine self, was soon hushed. My dorm mates poked and jibed me. They pushed me to undertake the most inexcusable dares. All of which I undertook with a unsuspecting smile, desperately wanting to gain their approval.   My efforts were futile however, as they had already decided that I would never match them, in worldliness, wealth, possessions or influence. Or was that what I had decided?

Nonetheless, my now 8 year old courage endured, as I endeavoured to make them laugh, offered to make their beds, pretended I liked what they liked, danced and sang along with them all.

Then came the words from the most officious matron – “Stop showing off Frances!”. Bang! There I go, back to the abyss of misery and unsureness. Humility, shame, embarrassment oozing through my every pore, whilst the other girls laugh and jeer. I dive into my bed like a rabbit down a rabbit hole, as far down the bed as I can - and I cry. The humility and shame are colossal. The message is clear. Never put my head over that parapet of doom again. Stay low girl. Stay thwarted – the life of shine is not for you!

Wind forward 30 years and I see myself having developed a hard wired belief that repeats pattern like - over and over again, but now I don’t need the trigger of another – I can shame and humiliate myself single handily.  

Clever eh? How does it work? This is it… stay low. Somehow, someone sees some talent in me and helps me onto the stage. Happy days for a bit, with me hanging about in the wings. Then after a while, I bravely take a step forward towards the light. But I have barely put my toe into the circle of the spotlight before I withdraw, moving myself back to where I belong, in the shadows. Fearful that those words will be expressed again. They probably already have, but they were out of earshot.  

Only by now, all these years later, the anger is rising. I am no longer able to reject it.   “I DESERVE TO SHINE!” - my unconscious shouts. “I know I have much to offer. I can help people.” But unconscious whispers back “don’t be foolish, child, you will just look stupid – as you will be showing off. Stay back, stay safe. Stay in the shadows.”

I am so grateful for my 50s mid life crisis. For it was then that the anger reached its summit. It surfaced not as rage however, but as a hunger for The Why? A quest to find out why those feelings would show up every time a flash of opportunity came my way, spoiling… well, everything. For the last couple of years I have read, I have listened, I have learned and I have expressed. And wow! Have I accomplished a lot and no, I am not 'showing off'.

The knowledge I have gained now helps me to help other people. It helps me understand how I can move forward with a clear conscious. I have forgiven my darling Mum, that matron, and my smirking siblings (even if they weren’t guilty!).

I can now see that the problem was mine, not theirs. I am in control of how my feelings show up and what they are attached to.

So now things can change. I have decided that being a show-off is what I need to be. That singing and dancing is not just for the films, it is for me too. I will step into the circle of the spotlight and lift my chin and smile. For if I can sing, and if I can dance then I can shine. If I allow myself to shine, then who can I be? I am not sure. But I am very much looking forward to finding out.

There are a bunch of amazing people in my life, who, probably without knowing it, have led me to understand that I no longer need to worry about 'showing off'. Today was the first day that I found the phrase “I want to show off”.   I will say it daily. These are the people I would like to thank for helping me get to where I am today…

 

Tricia Sterry http://www.blockclearance.com

Di – Dickenson, a beautiful human being who will be the best Block Clearance Therapist very soon.

Neil Snaith, my husband and so much more.

Connie and Wren Snaith, my children.

Deborah Price http://moneycoachinginstitute.com/

Sarah Dena - www.facebook.com/Sarah.L.Dena

Maxine Smith - www.bodyawarenesstherapies.co.uk

Robin Waite - http://robinwaite.com/

Cindy Davis – http://thefgcoach.com/

Carie Lyndene - http://carie-lyndene.com/

Martin Croft – www.thethoughtbusiness.com

Sali Green - https://www.iwork4uglos.co.uk/

 

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

By Cheranne Hack 22 May, 2017

How is your memory? Do you find that it's become increasingly worse over the years, both long and short term? In this article I'm going to tell you what happened when I went for SOUND THERAPY the other day. 

Holistic therapist  Rebecca McCorquerdale  asked if I'd go along as one of her final case studies for sound therapy qualification. It sounded interesting and soothing, and I'm not one to turn down the opportunity of anything holistic, so we booked a date and before I knew it the day had arrived. I was uptight and a bit stressed. I'd had a furniture-related minor head injury the night before and still had a pounding headache, not to mention the 3 glasses of red wine I'd consumed the same evening. Rebecca welcomed me in to the haven of peace and calm she's created at her home, where the aroma of essential oils wafted around in the atmosphere. She seemed so relaxed and serene it was like she floated towards the kitchen to get me a glass of water, whilst I trailed behind feeling rushed, heavy and drained. Of course, the next thing was that I offloaded all my pent up feelings and related the story of the computer sliding off a chest of drawers and hitting me in the head. I was in anxiety mode, worrying that the head injury was never going to heal and would continue to get worse. I tend to get these thoughts that spiral out of control if I let them. Rebecca took it all in her stride. It didn't bring her down to my level. She knew that by the time she'd finished with me, she'd be sending me off in floaty mode just like her. 

Back in the purple holistic haven, I sat on her chaise longue while she leaned on the treatment couch, explaining to me a brief history of sound therapy and how it's used and what it does. She said she'd be drawing on the natural energy from the earth and using the wonderful vibrations of sound from the tuning forks to rebalance my mind, body and spirit. There was also mention of dowsing and chakras. 

Well - not only did Rebecca do all of what was mentioned, but also with these hypnotic sounds she also conjured up something quite unexpected in me. What started to unfold in my mind, once a state of relaxation and calm had been reached, was an unfolding of distant memories. 

My anxious mind started to fight this at first, worrying that when your life's events flash before you, something's up! I reassured myself that this wasn't a 'life flashing before me' scenario. In fact it was all at a leisurely pace. 

I used mindfulness just to bring things 'back in the room' for a while - feeling Rebecca's calm presence at my side, and picturing my bag in the corner of the room. I was still very much here, and we hadn't moved on to another world. So gradually I allowed those memories to flow back in. They weren't in order; they were jumping to different parts of my life - mostly early childhood. The thing that astounds me here is that these are things I have not recollected for a very long time, if at all. In the title of this article I've used the word 'vivid'. It's not an exaggeration. We're talking right down to the fabric, texture and pattern of the pale blue silky embroidered bedspread in my grandmother's spare room in Birmingham; her shoe rack in the wardrobe, filled with shoes that had molded to the shape of her bunions; the geraniums in her conservatory; feeding the fish in her pond, and going to Cannon Hill Park, feeding ducks and seeing red squirrels. Right down to the whole family playing ping pong, and the stale Weetabix she kept in the larder. She died decades ago. I also visited memories of my other grandparents - even the day we left their old home near Tewkesbury and moved to Cheltenham - down to the exact feeling of looking out of the window across the garden and saying goodbye to it. I would have been under 5 years old then. I remembered sitting at the dining table at the flat in Pittville, eating curried mince with potatoes and peas with my grandparents and cousin. We were still so little. I remembered exactly what Nanna said to us when we mashed our potatoes into the sauce: "You're making a right pussy's dinner out of that!" (and she hadn't heard of Hip Hop). 

This trip down memory lane came to the point where tears began to flow. I could feel them rising up in me and this brought me back to being 'in the moment' again, because I suddenly felt conscious of my tears welling up and the slight embarrassment of that. I said this to Rebecca who opened the curtains slightly and said we would 'hold the space' for a while. The tears came and some snivelling too. I didn't feel embarrassed any more. I just felt what a big thing this was to me... all these memories that I didn't think I could ever have accessed again. They were precious. Next came Rebecca's turn for some emotion. When this happened I felt so privileged. It was like time stood still. Everything in our lives leading up to that point had brought us there, and we appreciated it and its depth. Rebecca felt a couple of messages for me that she had to say out loud - something that had cropped into her mind that she felt she had to pass on to me. Something about me being a warrior, and to stand my ground. 

Along with memory-gate, there was also a physical reaction during the tuning forks therapy. A heightened sensitivity in one place, which apparently then gets attuned and balanced by the sound therapy. 

I've certainly felt a lot better ever since. 

I wonder what sound therapy will hold for you?

To discover more about sound therapy you can connect with Rebecca on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaMcCorquodaleHolistics/

https://www.iwork4uglos.co.uk/omazing-grace

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